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Kazuko Uramatsu jumps out of bed at 5 am, hustles to catch the morning train, transfers to a waiting scooter, zooms off to her office, catches her breath, straightens her tie and smiles. It’s time to teach over Tokyo.  At 42, Kazuko is one of four female flight instructors in all of Japan. In a culture where the woman is traditionally seen as housekeeper, mother, and maid, Kazuko is cut from a different kimono.  She loves flying and adores independence. But how does a woman in Japan survive and thrive in an occupation almost totally reserved for men?  Flying snagged her heart Kazuko has been able to break from the pack because she knows what she wants in life. Her need for freedom speaks louder than her need to conform. While many women in Japan are held down to traditional positions of raising a family and staying at home, Kazuko chose a less traditional route. Her fire was lit when a college friend invited Kazuko to come to a club meeting on the quad. There on the grass, in the campus court, sat a gleaming, white Schweitzer glider. To promote membership, the club displayed the glider to encourage students to join. Kazuko made a life changing decision on the spot. She had to fly. Kazuko hits turbulence  But as soon as she threw herself into aviation, a not-so-subtle roadblock popped up. Although Kazuko had the support and encouragement from her father, someone else thought flying was a very bad idea.  At the time, Kazuko was dating a Japanese doctor. Unfortunately, the idea of flying did not sit well with him. He floored Kazuko one day with an ultimatum, “If you become a pilot, we cannot marry.”  Kazuko reeled. She didn’t want to quit flying. She couldn’t quit! For the first time in her life, she tasted ultimate freedom. The message was clear. She had to choose between rings, or wings.  The doctor got dumped.  While some people let marriage, cultural expectations, economics, lack of social skills, or bad breaks, direct their lives, some refuse to accept any limitation. As for Kazuko, she is now happily married to a man who loves her, and her vocation. The chains are broken. You’re in charge…So take it! Here’s the flight lesson: You are going to have people chirping in your ear – relatives, friends, lovers, co-workers, and strangers, all telling you how to run the show. Well intentioned as they may be, keep one thing in mind – It’s your show. No one else knows the production better than you. And no one is more concerned with a successful outcome than you.  So, at first sign of a naysayer, kindly excuse yourself. Tune them out, or steer them away from your dream. You don’t need that negative buzz in your brain. To be a peak performer, find people who encourage and support you. If anyone tries to bring you down, you now know what to tell them…  “Sayonara!”

In 1993, Mike McNeill ran into an “unreasonable customer.” As a captain on a a de Havilland Dash-7 aircraft, Mike was to make a routine flight from Killeen, Texas to Dallas. A 45-minute hop. Shortly after the airplane levelled off, a passenger came up into the cockpit and suggested a new destination: Cuba. When McNeill turned around and saw an Uzi machine gun levelled at his head, he knew he would need more than just flying skills to keep things cool. At the trigger was a hyper young man in his 20s. Like a cobra out of its basket, the man was agitated and unpredictable. Use your weapon! Mike knew the four-engine de Havilland did not have enough fuel to make it to Cuba, yet he had to be careful in rejecting the hijacker’s request out of hand. Therefore, McNeill and the co-pilot began to unwrap a subtle counteroffer. Their friendship. This was a “weapon” the hijacker simply didn’t see coming. The two pilots began to slowly, and subtly, change the climate in the cockpit. Being careful not to patronize the young man, they worked to befriend and empathize with him. They brought out pictures of the family. At one point the co-pilot even suggested they return to Killeen because he had to babysit the kids. But perhaps the gutsiest, but most effective move, took place when McNeill confessed how his “on time record” would be impacted unless he could provide a very good reason. Straight faced, he asked the hijacker, “could you write me an excuse?” He hijacker actually proceeded to write the note! This move by McNeill was brilliant. What Mike did was give the hijacker a sense of importance and respect. Something every human craves. This provided the crew to become more human as the harshness of the hijacker’s demands began to soften. He made a concession: forget Cuba. Mexico would do. Mike obliged him. They turned the aircraft toward Laredo. By this time, the Mexican equivalent of the FBI were notified and positioning themselves at the airport. In route, the three men talked. After they landed, they talked some more inside the cockpit. Hours passed. It took time and patience, but the hijacker was finally persuaded to lay down his Uzi and surrender to the Mexican authorities.  How was McNeill able to calmly handle such a potentially explosive situation? In a word, Mike was prepared. He had gone to work prepped to deal with numerous variables: turbulence, changing weather, mechanical malfunctions, even disgruntled customers. When the challenge presented itself, Mike’s mental preparedness worked to his advantage. Prepare to get jacked Hardly a day goes by where you do not have to deal with some type of problem that demands your immediate attention. Whether it’s a work-related conflict or personal dilemma, your ability to manage that difficulty will have a profound effect on your journey through life. The problem is, you never know when or where trouble will hit. Let’s revisit Mike McNeill’s problem for a moment. One thing was in his favor. Mike didn’t have a fanatical terrorist on his hands. Instead, he simply had some kook who wanted to cruise to Cuba. The fact that he had an Uzi as a boarding pass made things more interesting. If you were in McNeill’s position, what would you do? How would you respond? Would you fight? Draw out your Smith & Wesson and start shooting? Would you refuse the demand? Or simply comply and fly…until you ran out of fuel? These are tough questions, each with potentially fatal consequences. But believe it or not, you are hijacked all the time. For example, a loyal customer may take you hostage as he or she threatens to cancel an account. Your spouse could suddenly demand a large amount of cash – to pay bills. Your teenager may hold you an emotional hostage, until you meet his demand for passage to Mexico – during spring break. Each of these scenarios is a potential hijacking. And it’s the way you choose to communicate with your hijacker that will determine the successful outcome of your negotiations, whether it be with a customer, co-worker, friend, foe, or fanatic. So how do you deal with the proverbial tough guy who threatens your tranquillity? By applying some McNeill magic to the mix. Lead your “customer” to resolution To do this, let’s consider a simple four-step process. This applied “flight lesson” will go a long way to defuse tensions, resolve problems, and keep you on a passionate and positive track. Try it the next time you meet an unreasonable customer who threatens to hijack your day. 1) Listen calmly. This alone can defuse a lot of energy and anger from someone who is irate. As they talk with you, breathe deep, relax, and simply listen. Do nothing to agitate them. Above all else, don’t become angry, irritated or patronizing. Like a busted steam pipe, let the pressure vent. 2) Empathize. Walk a mile in their moccasins. Try to find out how they feel. Refrain from harsh or immediate judgments. Ask yourself not only what they want, but why they want it. Determine their needs, no matter how crazy they may appear. 3) Assess the situation. Agree with them initially so as to buy time and think. What are your options? What are their options? How could you best negotiate and turn this into a win-win situation? If their rationale is totally whacked out, agree with them anyway. Let them see you as an ally. Then silently consider what’s acceptable in the situation and strive for a balance. 4) Downsize your differences. Find your common interests. Find those points in which you both agree and highlight those areas. Become personable. If you need to point out corrective action, give a compliment first, offer your suggestion, then follow up with a sincere but complimentary observation. This is sometimes referred to as the sandwich approach — compliment, correct, and compliment. Keep the overall exchange friendly and light. Avoid

In May 2001, I wrote an article for Plane & Pilot magazine, entitled Never too Old to Fly. A quarter decade ago. Old stuff, right? No. In fact, just the opposite. Back then, interviewing people like Ralph Charles (the oldest pilot on the planet at 101), and Evelyn Johnson, an active instrument flight instructor and Designated Pilot Examiner (DPE), well into her 90’s, was a game changer for me. These people were hot. They loved life and were beyond passionate. I wanted to know more. What’s the common denominator? Since then, I’ve interviewed pilots and non-pilots alike to uncover the common denominator behind their zest for life and seemingly ageless demeanor. A recurring theme has consistently emerged: these individuals simply discovered and pursued activities that brought them genuine joy. Few, if any, ever found themselves trapped in jobs they despised, grinding out an existence day after day in roles they abhorred. Instead, they maintained a positive outlook and, whenever possible, embraced an active lifestyle that kept them resilient and vibrant. Girlfriends and speeding at 103 Case in point: While interviewing Ralph Charles at his ranch in Somerset, Ohio, I asked him point blank, if he thought he might be too old to fly at 101 years old. He snorted back, “Hell no!” Then proceeded to show me some of his semi-aerobatic flying maneuvers later that afternoon. The guy simply didn’t let his age, dictate the game. In fact, a couple years later, at the age of 103, he was nailed for speeding, while taking his girlfriend, “Toots” home for the evening! (the actual telephone conversation can be heard at, Tillison.com -> Videos). The secret to finding passion More recently, I had the distinct privilege of meeting up with the last surviving P-51 fighter ace of WWII. Bud Anderson was a “gentlemen’s fighter.” One of the nicest, easy-going guys in two shoes. However, as Chuck Yeager would say, “In an airplane…the guy was a mongoose.” But during the interview Bud said something that struck me. As we talked about jobs, life-goals, and flying in general, he spilled the beans.  After a moment of reflection, he simply said emphatically, “If you get a job you like to do… you can accel.” Therein lies the kicker that’s killing people. Many people in fact, don’t like what they’re doing. With no real purpose or passion, they’re mentally, spiritually, and all too often, physically, dropping dead. It doesn’t have to be this way, if you have the guts seek the passion path. Beating the money trap A few years back, I had an attorney as a flight student. His law firm was thriving. Yet one day he approached me with a surprising confession: “I’m done with law. I’m just not happy with the work.” He proceeded to tell me he wanted to change occupations and pursue his flight instructor rating. At the time, my jaw dropped knowing the extreme plunge in income he would experience. But I now understand. Time is fleeting and there’s nothing in the world more important that to live your life with the freedom to chase your passion, not your pension. If you have to take a pay cut, sell the truck, or walk from the dead-end job, do it. The most devastating and irreversible outcome at life’s end is regret.  Like Steve Jobs so adroitly said in his speech to the Stanford graduates, “You’ve got to find what you love. Don’t settle.” Do this, to set yourself free So here’s my “flight lesson” to you. Find your fire. No matter what. Don’t settle. Do the search. If you feel that you’re in an inescapable rut, you must “escape” n as if your life depends on it. Because it does. So how do you proceed? Here’s your immediate action plan. It’ll take 15 minutes of your time, so buck, up and prepare to invest 15 big ones…like right now. First off, grab a pen and paper. Set a timer. Take exactly ten minutes and “go bold.” That is, write down every personal and career possibility you can imagine, without judgment or concern for practicality. Let your ideas flow freely. Write fast, and with abandon. When the timer sounds, give yourself five more minutes to review your list and identify the one idea that surprisingly seems most attainable. The one that stands out above the rest. You’ll most likely be amazed with the revelation that previously eluded you. Your life is too precious to spend unfulfilled. Keep in mind, your journey to find your passion is not just a luxury—it’s a necessity. A necessity for a life well-lived. So, embrace the search.  Don’t let any fear hold you back. Just take that first step. Adventure awaits—seize it and don’t look back. Your ”fire” will light the way.